dreams.

Let me tell you a story. Actually, it's a dream I had once, a year or two ago. It explains so much.

I was swimming with G in the middle of the ocean, fairly deep, and I could breathe just fine under the water. Everything was beautiful and blue and cool and I could see perfectly. We saw a sunken ship and decided to explore. We entered, and it was completely dry inside (How a ship sank without filling with water I do not know). We walked around it a little, and G somehow faded into the background. I entered a room and found a beautiful little girl. How long we talked and laughed and played I have no idea. It was like forever but not nearly long enough. The ship started filling with water and I started to get really worried. It was around our waists and Grant reappeared, showing me a tunnel that would shoot us directly to the water's surface (I couldn't breathe in water anymore). He entered it and was gone. I grabbed the girl's hand and started heading toward the tunnel, but she pulled it away. I looked back at her. She was smiling at me, both sad and peaceful. I started frantically pleading with her, telling her that we would die once the water filled the ship up all the way. She stood firm, not saying anything, just looking at me with her sad smile. I stayed until the very last second, then screaming with anguish I stepped into the tunnel and got shot to the surface. I couldn't speak or look at anyone through my sobs. They pulled the ship up and all that was left in the room was the beautiful little girl's clothes, piled in a corner. I held them and cried.

Most of the time I'm so excited for the beautiful possibilities that lie in my future and in the ones I love. But then sometimes I wonder why time is forcing me to grow up so quickly. I'm afraid for what will happen to the little girl. But it couldn't stop me from stepping away and moving upward.