Why?

I don't understand why it always has to be my fault, or her fault. For once, why can't he just wake up and realize that he created this. He forced us into this way that we live. Lucky for us, we've managed to grow, to find love and beauty elsewhere. But of course, this is wrong. And of course it is our fault.

It hurts that I finally told him things that have been building up inside of me for years and years, and that it did nothing. Things that I feel have been ready to burst out of me, because my soul can no longer stand to hold so much sadness, anger, and bitterness. It's screaming out to be cleansed and resurrected, clean and raw and ready to learn how to love and forgive. It hurt to have these things thrown back in my face, and twisted around to become my fault. It hurt to be accused. I talk to God. He's teaching me to forgive, but I really don't think He's asking me to walk into this.

It hurt that he accused her. That they accused her. There's an awful picture in my head of the three of them surrounding her for hours, questioning and insulting her down to the core, while she sits there small and sobbing. One of my biggest hopes was that they would understand. She is such a wonder. She holds no anger towards them for their accusations. I could see the dark circles under her eyes when she came back, even with the lights off.

And what hurts the most is that I was so sure, but through the manipulation that he's so good at, I'm almost starting to feel bad, and believe that he should get another chance.