the center of everything

Life is so much bigger than I am.

I want to do everything right. Honestly, I try, I really, really do. That's probably the problem, though. It's almost like the more I want to do something right, or not do something wrong, the harder it gets. Really, I think I've been failing to let God handle things. Sometimes it just feels like I need to fix things, or be doing things right for a while to be able to go to Him. I know this isn't true. I just don't see how anyone could want someone so broken I guess. It's crazy how I've been in love with Him since I could understand who He is, and He has loved me since the beginning of time, yet somehow I am still sometimes tricked into thinking His love could run out, for me anyway. He loves loves loves loves me though, more than I could ever imagine, and what I really, really want is to bring myself close to Him, and give him absolutely every part of me. Liberation. Freedom. I don't want to live with any regrets, but to become fully realized and to live each moment to the extent of which it was meant to be lived. Happiness. This is real. This is truth. I want to wrap my arms around it and breathe it in until it bursts forth from inside of me, glowing.